Fat Lad’s May 2012

Nar then old cock. Getting art much? Gotta keep back legs going tha knows.

Ride 2000 MTB miles

May Miles Needed: 181.94

May Miles Done: 187.58

Year Left: 1267.97

Monthly Total Now Required: 181.13

Another huge chunk over this month’s target. The man is a machine… 😉

Ride the Colne Valley Challenge in under 4 hours

Still on the edge of your seat? Did I do it? Find out soon…
Blog once a week

Yay! (Runs round in circle jumper over head waving arms erratically)

Week 17: Fat Lad is…

Week 18: Mrs Fat Lads 30 Days of Biking

Week 19: Fat Lad’s April 2012

Week 20: Fat lad Rides Vicariously

Si thi then.

Fat Lad

Fat Lad’s Public Service Announcement

Do you have a cyclist in  your life? Have you noticed the following in the past few weeks?

  • Irritability
  • Mood swings
  • Foul language
  • Increased sighing and melancholic staring out of windows

Have you heard the following?

  • “F*cking British weather”
  • “Really this rain would put Noah off”
  • “I can’t decide who’s taking the piss more; Mother Nature or the Met office…”

Then chances are your cyclist has SSAD. Shit Summer Affected Disorder. SSAD has been clinically proven* to ruin any day when the trails are drowning.

If you have a cyclist in your life affected by SSAD, tell them to MTFU! They’re not made of sugar and won’t dissolve 😉

Fat Lad

*By real doctors and everyfink!

Fat Lad’s and The Trail Eight Track

A friend of my father who drifted out of our lives as quickly as he’d  floated in; was a man of far out ideas and off kilter thinking. Walking the hills, the sun was shining with full beam nostalgia strength. Yomping across dale, short naive teenager flanked by taller years of wisdom, listens intently to conversation flowing naturally around him trying to keep up with the words as well as the pace.

“So, the earth has magnetic fields?”


“I believe that all the ghoulies, apparitions and unearthly sights are simply strong emotion stored to the earth.A spiritual Match of the Day to Gaia’s betamax played on loop again and again. Ghosts stuck on repeat. Recordings of the soul”


It’s a conversation that in all the years of slowing synapses has stayed lodged firmly in my head. If it’s true what do we leave with every turn of the cranks on the trails? All the bits of trail haunted by my learning over the years, memorys shed all over the paths of the land. Do they play back? In the dead of night do whispy ethereal riders whoop down the runs leaving misty contrails from other wordly tyres?

Tyre tracks fade on . Our souls play in the dirt eternal.

Fat Lad




Fat Lad Moans

Summer? What Summer? *Sulk*

Fat Lad


Fat Lad and the Christening of Collar Bone Corner

It’s all about momentum.

Descending your ally. Keep it on side; a little kick of the pedals here. A push of the bars there. So much comes from so little effort.

Ascending momentum a fleeting friend. Pedals turned smoothly carry the relationship for so long. But momentum will flee on all but the briefest of ups.

Sarah’s momentum stopped dead Thursday night. A bad roll of the cosmic dice robbed her all the forward motion gained.

Our current thoughts on the matter come to a slipped front wheel over rough terrain followed by a panic brake gave us the above result.

Watching your everything cartwheel at speed over the bars and ragdoll into the bushes is something I never wish to see again.

A clean break of the collar bone may have slowed Sarah down. So much has been gained. But her’s is a momentum that’s hard to slow yet alone stop.

Fat Lad

Rider Down

Can you have a connection with someone you’ve never actually met?

Through various means of online interaction you follow the days of people you don’t know and are invited to live the existence they choose to share with the digital ether.

A rider I never met lost their life in the most tragic of circumstances and I feel it keenly. The long rides, the sometimes curmudgeonly rant and considered opinions of this other are gone forever now. I’ll miss living that someone else’s ride life.

On hearing the news that lurching feeling in the stomach, a melancholy mood descends and I genuinely feel sadness I haven’t felt since losing a friend a long time ago.

The same night of the announcement I rode for the first time in a long while with friends who truthfully I’ve neglected. I pushed hard, tried more and though the dust flavoured endorphins helped for a few hours, thoughts turn to a man I never shared the trail with. And then my thoughts fall to those left behind to pickup the pieces and ask questions that will never be known…

The trails might not have the answers but it won’t stop me looking.



Fat lad Rides Vicariously

This post was originally to be titled Mrs Fat Lad goes all they way. But I thought better of it…

At the worry of harping on about it Sarah really has got the bug. “What have *you* done to me?” is  a question I get a lot now.

I’ve been riding cycles in one way shape or another now for *mumble mumble* years and with the best will in the world there is only so much enthusiasm for riding yet again in the wet.

But Sarah’s joy de velo is certainly infectious. With a Sunday afternoon suddenly free Gisburn was suggested. Dear Wifey had done the dirt deed there a few times before but only the lower loop. I didn’t suggest doing the full figure of eight, Sarah did.So we went and we did.

Riding with someone new to the game is the best. Go grab a noob.  Go ride your bikes. It might even help to lift the grump.

Fat Lad




Fat Lad’s April 2012

Hi there, nice to see you again. You didn’t have to get all dressed up just to visit me, hell most of our visitors here often don’t wear more than their boxer shorts…

Ride 2000 MTB miles

Apr Miles Needed: 185.77

Apr Miles Done: 216.40

Year Left: 1384.50

Monthly Total Now Required: 181.94

Well that #30daysofbiking turned out to be worthwhile after all. It’s been amazing how all those little 1/2 hour pedals soon add up.

Ride the Colne Valley Challenge in under 4 hours

Well today was the day. How did I do? You’ll have to wait for the post* 🙂

Blog once a week

Blimy something is going right:

Week 13: Fat Lad’s March 2012

Week 14: Fat Lad Singlespeeds in Cuba

Week 15: Fat Lad #30daysofbiking 1/2 way there

Week 16: Fat Lad and a Very Special Birthday

Keeping all five of my readers happy for another month

Fat Lad

*Unless of course you look up the results or follow me on twitter

Mrs Fat Lads 30 Days of Biking

Al was right……..

I don’t often say those words but for once Al was right and I was wrong…..

Sometime in the middle of March, Al casually mentioned that he fancied
doing 30 days of riding. Me being the sensible (ish) one in the
marriage immediately gave him plenty of reasons why it wasn’t a good

1.  We run a busy shop
2.  He has very little time to himself
3.  There was no possible way he could ride for 30 consecutive days
4.  It was a foolish idea

and so on……

A few days later after a conversation with a friend on Twitter I
looked at Al and muttered the words “I fancy doing 30 days of
riding, are you gonna do it with me?”  That’s right I used the age old
womens perogative to change her mind 🙂

I guess it was a momentary lapse of being the sensible one on my
behalf as if i’d thought about it I would never have commited to it. I
mean I’d never ridden more than twice in a week before. I’d never
ridden for two consecutive days in a row before. I didn’t have enough
riding clothes. I work long hours all over the UK with Job 1 and when
I’m not there I can be found preventing chaos at Garage Bikes.

However I am stubborn and once I’ve decided to do something I do it,
so I announced it to everyone I knew. My friends thought I was mad, my
mates on twitter however thought it was a great idea, Al was always up for it
and so it began.

So what did I learn…

I met and rode with some great people that i will ride with again and again
I pedalled in parts of the country i’d never ridden before
I discovered the delights of local trails and how they change daily
I learnt that it is possible to do a 14 hr day in London then go and
enjoy a fantastic night ride
I rode in rain for more than half of the 30 days and still enjoyed it
I found a desire for riding that I thought I had lost as a teenager
I can ride day after day without completely bonking (mainly thanks to
Al’s guidance)
I learnt to ride uphill and achieved many firsts this month

The aftermath
I want to ride my bike all the time and i’ve gone over to the dark
side and bought a road bike (purely to improve my fitness honest!)
I’m already planning my next 30 days of riding in September

Al is sometimes right



Fat Lad is…

Sick of getting wet.

Red Jacket Gang

But today was at least a lot of fun getting that way.

Biblical rain, soaking riding kit, grinding drive trains and drowned rat friends.


Character building

Fat Lad